I've done it....I've let myself go

It hit me on Monday - I've let myself go! I had an inkling that this did happen around November, but on Monday it was no longer an inkling.

On Monday we had a play date at a local park, I actually took initiative and got out of my workout clothes and into some decent clothes. Let's back up....in November I decided I would never lose the weight I gained with my last pregnancy, so therefore I gave away all of my clothes that were not fitting me that day, most of those being summer clothes. Well, lo and behold here I am in the size of the clothes that I gave away - 10 13 gallon bags of clothes I just gave away. So now I have two summer shirts and one pair of shorts. I wore my black bermuda shorts, an ivory sleevless shirt over a grey layering tank, of course I wore my flip flops. I even took my hair out of it's signature sad pony tail and put a head band in. As I was driving to the park, I reached down to scratch my leg and realized "way to go Bec, you didn't shave your legs" so I felt like a real loser. At the park I shared my woes with my girlfriends, they all laughed, but I think it was a pity laugh. One mom there was so cute in her Nike running shorts, matching t-shirt, and matching cap, she works at a gym so you can imagine what her body is like even though she has three kids. She told me I looked cute and that she looked homeless...my thought was, "uh-yeah, maybe I should start looking homeless". After hours at the park, we went home, on the way home I smelled something pretty rank - right in the area of saurerkraut...that's when I realized I didn't put on deodorant. Yeah - I've let myself go.

Yesterday, I stayed home all day and actually went from my pajamas to, yes you guessed it, my workout clothes. This is getting sad. My husband is even questioning my clothing choices, encouraging me to brush my hair, and telling me to bathe. My four year old questions now why I am putting on make-up, it used to be a part of daily life for me to put on make up and do something with myself.

I've been thinking, what in the heck are the reasons I've let myself go:
1. I'm the only girl in my houeshold, nobody tells me when I look cute or downright wretched.
2. I don't have time to get cute and take care of myself
3. I go to the gym at 4 am every day, I don't much feel like getting pretty after I have sweated for two hours first thing in the morning
4. I just had a baby -- okay I need to stop using this excuse, my baby is almost a year old
5. I don't have cute clothes

So - as you can see, I have a arsenal of excuses as to why I can't take care of myself. Then I thought about how I used to feel when I did take care of myself and my reasons that I did do it, and came up with this list:
1. I feel more confident when I am dressed and have make up on
2. I deserve to do nice things for myself
3. I am the only girl in my household, I should be super-feminine to couteract the testosterone
4. I want other moms to admire me (hee hee, you know you think that as well)
5. I'm only at this age and this season in my life once, I might as well make it pretty
6. I just feel good when I look good

There, I finally admitted it, I have let myself go.

Now I need to get off my workout gear clad rump, look at my fashion magazines, make a game plan, and become a girl again!

xoxo,
Rebecca