Step One: Admitting You've Let Yourself Go.

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Oh today has been a rough one.  Poor baby Owen is at a pinnacle of grossness- teething, drooling nonstop, blow out after diaper blow out, spitting food everywhere.  It's been a day.  It's also raining, sloppy, and miserable outside.  So do I look like I stepped out of the pages of J.Crew today?   Nope.  I did attempt earlier.  even though I knew I would only be at home, hanging out with Owen, cooking, cleaning, and writing- I threw on some comfy but cute jeans, a new camisole, and a cute zip up fleece.  I did the hair, spritzed some perfume, and got some concealer and mascara on.  Life was looking okay.

Then, all the grossness happened, and the second my husband got home, I raced through the house for some yoga pants and one of his big tshirts.  Now, I'm writing in bed, looking less like a fashionably comfy mama nd more like a professional lifer college student.  So, there in comes the question, "Why get dressed 'up' to be at home?"  It's a perfectly acceptable one too.  It's just that f I don't put SOME modicum of effort nto myself for the day, I am less likely to get anything done.  Some gals can clean, cook, work, play with the kiddos, etc., all in their pjs. 

I just slog through the day, galumphing from the bed to the couch in hopes of more Oreos and a Lifetime movie.  So, even if I m just casually dressed- say yoga pants and a tank, and a hoodie, I do need to get.dressed.daily or else I just end up in that black hole where a week later I ask myself when the last time I brushed my teeth was.  To me, just rolling out of bed and attempting the day is letting myself go.

I believe a lot of women feel this way but we get stuck in the "Why bother" rut?  Then there's the social pressure of "If you're just at home, why bother? You look fine!"  I'm lucky to have one of those husbands who thinks my bedhead and unbrushed teeth are just as cute as a little black dress and stilletos.  But it's the same argument we have with those people who don't "think you need to workout" and such- it's for me!

As a mom, a wife, a writer, an adult, I just have so little time that I devote to myself.  There's this pressure that everything should be about everyone else, but really, you have to fit you in there too.  Ten years down the road, I don't want to be the mom who never took pics with my kids because I was just unkempt or think "I wish I would have . . . "

There are some who even argue that conforming to a look or even just caring is anti-feminist.  I find that to be really baffling.  Since when is taking time for me to feel better about me, as a woman and a person, is part of my personal definition of feminism and also femininity.  I would rather be the mom who cared enough to put on some blush and a cute top than the woman who looks like she emerged from a black hole when you see me at the grocery store.

Admitting that you've let yourself go is hard and it comes in stages.  I'll have those fired up days where I get myself all together, then I have "one of those weeks" where at the end of it, I realize I wore the same shirt for three days.  So it takes a constant low grade level of alertness and a personal definition of what your minimums and maximums are of getting yourself put together.  You have to set standards in every other area of your life, and personal maintenance is not to be ignored.

From what I've seen in my own life, everyone benefits when I try with myself a little bit more.  Because I took fifteen minutes this morning, I got far more done than I have other mornings where all I do is wander around in pj's wondering what to do.  Sure, I had to change clothes and now I'm back in comfy pj-like stuff, but I'm still working away because of that extra bit of effort I gave myself this morning.

So, as part of step one, I'm embarking on a little creative exercise.  Outlining what my own minimums and maximums are.  What I need to be productive, comfortable, and pulled together every day.  I came up with the idea a couple days ago to start setting my alarm about fifteen to thirty minutes before everyone else gets up.  During these few minutes, I brew my coffee, hop in the shower, and get dressed for the day for me.  Then when everyone else is up, I can set about the rest of the day with a bit of extra spring in my step.  There is really no reason why I shouldn't care just as much about my own grooming as that of my kids.

So now that I've admitted I have let myself go in two blogs, now I need to focus on what I need to get back to being me.  The fifteen minutes is a start, but like I said, I also need to hash out what will be my "standards".  Join me so we can all get back to feeling fab again.

Signing off-

Sara Rose